Arch Rift: A spacesuit company I founded. I am assuming you already knew about it because it's my job and the only reason I have a digital footprint.

Classified project #1: Shhhh. Top secret. Definitely not classified because it might not happen and I don't want any concrete evidence of my failure. It has to do with machine learning. I know so sexy. Please contain yourself, this is a public space.

Classified project #2: Behind curtain #2 is a something that will blow your mind. It's just so cool, so revolutionary that society will cease to exist and humans will ascend to become one with the stars. I am kidding (or am I?)

HIVE (HIgh FIve robot): HIVE is my terrifyingly pure robot child. They came to me as a broken roomba. I have transformed them into a broken roomba that rolls around and demands high fives in a monotone British voice. I love my robot child and if you do not then I will sic them on you.

The Conversation Pit: Ever miss the classic conversation pits of the 70's? No, no one does? Weird. Anywho, we made it better by putting a ball pit in the middle. Just a completely normal living room set up of four couches facing each other in a square with 4,000 balls in the middle. Interior design is my passion.

GITQ: A quarterly magazine about goats in trees that will only have one printing.

Promise: A hackathon project that was about developing responsibility and goal setting in young humans. We won and I got a Nintendo Switch.

"The Mutagenic Effects of Diphenhydramine on Saccharomyces Cerevisiae": This is the sexy short title of the experiment I ran in CU Boulder's microbiology labs under the direction of Dr. Robert Poyton. We got no results so I guess you can take your Benadryl with peace of mind.

Hide and Seek: A business plan I wrote and competed with in high school. The concept was about location masking on phones. Sadly, this was before privacy was a thing normal people thought about and I was a child with no coding skills.

Oyster Project: A project I explored before founding Arch Rift. Basically doing initial particle filtration at wastewater treatment plants with oysters. It didn't get that far past the idea stage because industry feedback was that the EPA would kill it.

Human Pokémon: Another project I explored before Arch Rift. Pretty much what it sounds like. It was gamified networking with NFC contact sharing. Apple murdered it by refusing development or write access to the NFC chips on iPhones. Cowards.

Meems: cluck cluck

BNBNC: Ever want to get all your bad news from a bear puppet named Beary Bad? Well too bad regardless of what you answered because I filmed two episodes of it.

Floating.Orb: A ominous floating orb named Jimmy who hates being disturbed.

Now for a non-exhaustive list of my smaller projects: Made a dress from scratch in 24 hours, made a giant Loch Ness monster stuffed animal, made a bunch of bags of confetti and hid them in random stores for people to find, turned an entire IKEA catalog into a massive amount of paper cranes then mailed said cranes to IKEA's US headquarters, made our giant Loch Ness monster stuffed animals baby Loch Ness monster stuffed animals, made 80 ish May Day baskets and delivered them to the whole neighborhood, made a beaded curtain out of tampons and hung it over the entrance to the girl's bathroom, took paint chips and made them into a dry erase calendar, made my friends solid perfume lockets, made tiny clay figurines of all of our roommates and took pictures of them all over the city then hung those pictures up all over the house, tech bro shrine in the hallway of our house complete with candles.